A Busy Busy Month!

First let me apologize for the length of time that has past since I last posted a message. I have been extremely busy, so it has been hard to find time to write. I will try to post updates more often in the future.

A lot has happened in the past month, so much that it could probably fill 6 pages or more of stories, so I am going to try and briefly summarize some of the events. Unfortunately much of what has occurred since I last wrote are unpleasant events. Where to begin, I suppose I will begin with my move. About 2 weeks ago I moved out of Mwamba, the field station where I had been living since I arrived in February. I had found this place that was just up the road from Mwamba that eliminated my need to take a boda boda everyday. This meant I only had to take a matatu to get to work, which was nice. The place was a very nice guest house with 3 bedrooms and I was going to rent one of the rooms. The man who owned the place was from Germany and seemed very nice and welcoming the several times I went to see the place before deciding to take it. So I packed all my stuff and moved myself as well as the cat to this new home. After being there for several days I began to feel very uncomfortable living there for several reasons. One of the major problems was that there were 2 guard dogs that roamed the plot at night and you couldn’t get in or out of the plot without them trying to escape, and they were not allowed outside of the gates! The first day when I came home they did escape and ran all the way down the driveway, across the road and down to the beach. I had to go chasing after them and basically drag these huge, unwilling dogs home. Upon informing the owner of what had happened and asking what I was supposed to do in the future he became very angry with me telling me they can never be let out. As if that’s what I had done, opened the gate and encouraged them to leave! This incident made me never want to go home because I did not want to have to deal with the dogs every night, especially after working12 hours.

In addition to the dogs I had been locked out one afternoon, as the owner had locked one of the locks he hadn’t given me a key for. I also began to realize no one had stayed at this guest house in a very long time, as all the dishes were filthy and dusty. I was suspicious as to why no one would have stayed at a place that upon first glance appeared so lovely and was so close to town and all the touristy things to do. Soon it became even worse when I saw the German man (the owner) bring back local prostitutes to the house every night. This was the final straw, as I did not want to be living anywhere where this was something that was practiced and I also felt very uncomfortable just being there upstairs when I knew what was occurring below me. Therefore, I decided to move back to Mwamba, where I currently am living again. I am going to stay living here for awhile, as there is a good support system here and I feel much more comfortable living with a bunch of other people until another researcher arrives, as I am currently on my own at work now.

This brings me to my next trial. Kelly and Crista have both gone now, leaving me on my own to manage the field site and both groups of monkeys. Kelly left a week and a half ago and Crista left on Thursday. There are about 20 people that work at the ruins, but they do not work with the monkeys and have nothing to do with our research so they are not people I can discuss work matters with. Though it is nice to know they are there, as they are people to talk with about things outside of work. Being on my own is quite stressful, as I have taken over both groups of monkeys and am flipping back and forth between each group everyday, which has proven to be quite difficult. Getting to work by myself everyday is also a lot different than going to work with other people everyday. Women almost never go anywhere by themselves here and they certainly do not work alone, so I draw quite a bit of attention and comments, now that I’m not only foreign, but am now foreign and alone. When Crista, Kelly and I would go into work together we rarely ever were bothered by people trying to sell us tours or diving trips or just attaching themselves to us to chat. Now that I am alone I have a new friend or two who walk to work with me, and home from work with me, trying to sell me everything under the sun or just trying to get me to go home with them or for a ride with them. This is very hard to deal with as I just want to walk to work in peace and I don’t want to have to deal with trying to politely say please leave me alone. I thought being on my own might bring less attention, since I would be only one foreigner as opposed to a group of foreigners, but instead being alone means I have lost my guard. A group of foreigners talking together is a support system that is much more difficult for people to penetrate, breaking the conversation. But when you are alone and have no one to talk to, suddenly everyone feels you must have someone to talk to and so they cling on. It doesn’t help either that the guys at work keep asking me everyday if I’m scared being by myself. They said that a woman alone is a vulnerable target. And they keep telling me women aren’t strong but men are. I’m not sure what all these comments are supposed to mean, if they’re just having fun and trying to scare me or are actually serious. I’d never felt unsafe going to work in the past, but sometimes I am nervous going to work now. Thankfully one of the guys at work walks me out most nights, which is very nice of him to look out for me like that.

It’s been very hard for me to be alone here not so much because of work, but mostly because I had become very close to Crista. Now that she has gone, I feel that I have lost a friend. In actuality I know I have gained a friend, but I have lost having that friend here. It was nice having someone here to talk to and hang out with. It’s just nice to have another researcher to talk about work with. I miss having someone around that I feel completely comfortable around to just talk about anything with. Most of my talking throughout the day now is to strangers on the street and to short term guests at Mwamba explaining for the millionth time what I am doing here and what the research project I am working on is all about. Basically I have the same conversations everyday! I’ve lost my support network here in everyway you can think of a support network and it is really starting to wear on me. So naturally you all would think that I am ecstatic about the new researcher who is supposed to be coming to join me at the end of May beginning of June. Not quite, this brings me to another obstacle.
I recieved word from Steffen (the guy I’m working for) that a girl named Kate will be arriving in late May early June. I had known since before I left the States that a girl named Kate was supposed to be coming at some point after Crista and Kelly left, but that was all I knew until about a week ago when Steffen informed me of Kate’s last name. As I read her name I was thinking that there was something very familiar about it, and then I realized it was the name of a girl I had worked with in Costa Rica 2 ½ years ago. There were about 20 of us working together in Costa Rica when I was there and of these 20 people there were only 2 that I would prefer to never have to work with again, and unfortunately this girl is one of them. So instead of being relived that someone had finally confirmed they were coming to join me, I am now feeling that I would prefer to be by myself and deal with the stress of that instead of dealing with the stress of working with someone you dislike. Kate is a nice girl; she just partakes in some extracurricular activities that I do not agree with and her work ethic in less than stellar. Normally I would not care, but it’s hard to work with someone else on the same project when the other person cares more about their social life than their work and when you have to live with that person. The working and LIVING together is what is bothering me the most. Normally if I merely worked with her, her social life outside of work would not affect me, but since I will be sharing a room with her suddenly her weak work ethic and her habits at home will all interfere with my life. I am trying to give her the benefit of the doubt and hope that she has changed and matured a bit since we last worked together, but it is very hard to break first impressions sometimes. We’ll have to see how everything pans out. Hopefully things will improve, instead of become even more difficult. I’m really struggling lately to see the good in things here, but it has been difficult since Crista left. The first few weeks here were amazing and fun and suddenly life isn’t what it was those first few weeks anymore.

On an up note I am enjoying work a lot more now that I am actually getting to collect data and not just staring at monkey faces all day, everyday. However, there were a lot of things that Crista and Kelly were not able to go over with me before they left because of time, so I am having to work a lot of things out on my own and teach myself a lot of the data collection, which does make the work day difficult at times. I am just glad that I have been working on behavioral research projects for the past 3 years, so I feel I have a good base to draw upon. Now that I’m collecting data I am really starting to see the personalities of each of the monkeys, which is my favorite part of behavioral research. It helps make the research more personal and can often be the driving force for getting through the day if it’s a particular hard day at work.

The largest upside to being on my own here is that it is teaching me a ton about time management and how to run a field site. Essentially I am running this field site for the next year, as I am the only one here right now and as new researchers arrive it will be my job to train them and I will end up taking on the role of head researcher, as Steffen will only be here for a month or so in July. This has been a very cool feeling. Steffen has entrusted a lot in me, and even though there are times that I don’t enjoy working for him or working on this project I feel I have a personal goal to live up to…to prove to myself that I am capable of working with minimal supervision in a foreign country on a research project, while not just surviving, but while doing my very best at it all. I will definitely know the true strength of my character by the time I leave here, and hopefully will leave knowing more about research than I do now. For the next month to month and a half it’s just me, the monkeys, and hopefully some fun adventures, as the fun has drastically dwindled in the past several weeks. Stay tuned to find out what happens next, as there is never a dull moment here!